Have ever you been caught doing right thing? jarang kan? Normally our colleague, bosses or spouse catching us doing things wrong. Even ourselves tend to do same thing unto others. I do a lot of reading while i’m in the -no thinking period of mine-. One of the nice book title whale done. It’s is about a guy Wes kingsley try to apply the techniques as what they do to train the killer whale in Sea World, to his employee, colleague, friends and family around him.
One of the technique was giving attention when the whale do the right thing and ignore when they don’t. I’ve learned that people too do respond to the attention we give. If we give attention to the poor attitude, they will respond accordingly. Ultimately, we reinforce the behavior that we never wanted.
Most of us are constant learner and for that, we always make mistakes. There are few people are expert in what they do, but they make mistakes too. I’ve use to have bosses who tend to give the negative feedback and always highlight the poor performance of his officer. As a result, her/his act detracted the officer from her/him and finally poisoning the relationship. The same thing goes to our life affair. We must not always condone the mistakes. We correct it. It will somehow lead to a better relationship.
There is one terms in malay called ‘mengungkit’ . The act of mengungkit is like giving full attention to negative thing that happened in the past and spell out over and over again.The extreme focus on the particular mistakes will give a great impact to the relationship and lead to frustrated, confused and disappointment. It’s like after all we’ve been doing the right thing, we never get the eye of it.
According to the book, attention is like human sunshine to human. What we give out attention to, grow. What we ignore ,withers. If we excessively giving attention to the wrong thing, the the bad behaviours grows.
Do not take lightly on the important of giving attention. Same goes to our love life, friendship or relationship. The kind of attention we pay, it might result something that will react accordingly. If we give less attention to our love one, the love maybe wither over the time.
I was wondering when was the last time i pay attention at? The road accident? The bad things done by friend or colleague? Catching people doing thing wrong was so easy and it is easy to memorise too. If happen that i have to think the good things people -which i don’t very much like- did a good thing to me, it might takes me sometimes to recall rather than the wrong things they’ve done. Not to mention the people i like or closer to me.. aite?
My today lesson is, i don’t read someone else FB status or blog if i don’t like about it. I ignore or i unfriend. . I like the humbleness and the humble people around me. If i don’t like their so call ‘ showing off status’, i don’t read. i don’t have to. The most i’d do, i unfriend them or hide them from my wall. I don’t pay attention too to the people who talk bad/gossips about others to me. I don’t want to derail my positive morning mood by reading those status or hear the unnecessary things. It may diverting me from accentuate the positive and make me felt unsurge of energy.
I try to stay as positive as i can try not to catch up with negative vibrant. But try is not enough. I must do, and i must continue doing…
Pardon my english though..